Sex Education from the Perspective of a 14-Year-Old

The following is an interview I did with my 14-year-old daughter after she graduated from the Unitarian Universalists "Our Whole Lives" (OWL) Sexuality Education Program. This OWL course was the program for 7th to 9th graders, and it ran for 26 weeks covering about everything it possibly could in that time frame - values, gender identity, healthy relationships, to name a few topics. I asked Marcia a few questions as we drove in the car - Cindy was also...

Continue reading →

I Talked To My Kid About Butt Plugs and You Will Never Guess Her Takeaway

This photo and my reaction to it sparked a great, matter of fact conversation with my 12-year-old about anatomy, safety, and the importance of a flared base. This photo was going around the internet on Facebook.   It is a picture of a pug dressed up in black latex with a shape on its back that resembles a sex toy called an anal plug. The caption said "butt pug" and it looked like a butt plug. I showed it to my partner and...

Continue reading →

Rewriting My Body Image Programming

I get the opportunity to learn and share lots of tools and techniques I can use with clients to enhance their sexual experiences. Many of these exercises are not sexual at all - something that surprises some of my clients. American adults tend to sexualize so much. Recently, I discovered a tool that helped me experience a profound personal shift around body image. One that brought me to tears. ...But before I tell that story, let me give you some...

Continue reading →

How “Seen & Not Heard” Could Be Grooming Kids for Predators

Previous title: Children Learn What They Live - "Seen & Not Heard" Edition https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/06/20/this-was-30-minutes-of-hell-for-this-young-lady-unaccompanied-minor-groped-on-flight/ News stories like this, where children are victims of unwanted sexual contact, make me so fucking angry. At the same time, my heart hurts so deeply for the child. I could share my ire over what I think should be done to this guy (it would not be pretty) or to the airline, but then this post is just another voice on the internet complaining or pointing blame. Neither...

Continue reading →

Decision Making

We make decisions all the time - big and little ones. You made a decision to click on the link to read this blog (thank you for that!). Some decisions have complex thought processes behind them, others not so much. But how much thought do we give to teaching kids the skills for their own decision making? This is something many people seem to overlook. Of course, kids have to make decisions. Some parents want to forget or deny...

Continue reading →

This Could Be The Reason You’re Not Living Out Your True Sexual Fantasies

This article originally appeared on Elite Daily.   Ever had a dream where you woke up suddenly thinking, “What was that?!” I have. In my dream, I was presenting to a group of women where we were discussing how to enhance your sexual pleasure. One woman asked me what the key was to my definition of the best sex yet. My response was one that woke me up from the dream. I replied that the best sex I have had in my life —...

Continue reading →

The 3 G’s – God, Guilt, and Gossip

  Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. —Spanish proverb Raise your hand if you have ever been on the receiving end of slut-shaming? How did that feel? Now, raise your hand if YOU were the one slut shaming someone else. I'll never forget the day I learned that the moms at my daughters' school were spreading a rumor that I had sex in the bathroom at a parent night fundraiser with my then-boyfriend. It was completely absurd. Of course, even if...

Continue reading →

Playing With Words

Cindy is 12 years old but likes to refer to her vitamins in the same way she did when she was little, as "bite-amins". My partner pointed out to me privately that if kids in high school heard her say that they would probably tease her. I shared with him that my fantasy would be that Cindy would stand up to anyone who would tease her, look them squarely in the eye and say, "I said biteamins, bitch." He...

Continue reading →