How “Seen & Not Heard” Could Be Grooming Kids for Predators

Previous title: Children Learn What They Live - "Seen & Not Heard" Edition https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/06/20/this-was-30-minutes-of-hell-for-this-young-lady-unaccompanied-minor-groped-on-flight/ News stories like this, where children are victims of unwanted sexual contact, make me so fucking angry. At the same time, my heart hurts so deeply for the child. I could share my ire over what I think should be done to this guy (it would not be pretty) or to the airline, but then this post is just another voice on the internet complaining or pointing blame. Neither...

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Decision Making

We make decisions all the time - big and little ones. You made a decision to click on the link to read this blog (thank you for that!). Some decisions have complex thought processes behind them, others not so much. But how much thought do we give to teaching kids the skills for their own decision making? This is something many people seem to overlook. Of course, kids have to make decisions. Some parents want to forget or deny...

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This Could Be The Reason You’re Not Living Out Your True Sexual Fantasies

This article originally appeared on Elite Daily.   Ever had a dream where you woke up suddenly thinking, “What was that?!” I have. In my dream, I was presenting to a group of women where we were discussing how to enhance your sexual pleasure. One woman asked me what the key was to my definition of the best sex yet. My response was one that woke me up from the dream. I replied that the best sex I have had in my life —...

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The 3 G’s – God, Guilt, and Gossip

  Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. —Spanish proverb Raise your hand if you have ever been on the receiving end of slut-shaming? How did that feel? Now, raise your hand if YOU were the one slut shaming someone else. I'll never forget the day I learned that the moms at my daughters' school were spreading a rumor that I had sex in the bathroom at a parent night fundraiser with my then-boyfriend. It was completely absurd. Of course, even if...

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Playing With Words

Cindy is 12 years old but likes to refer to her vitamins in the same way she did when she was little, as "bite-amins". My partner pointed out to me privately that if kids in high school heard her say that they would probably tease her. I shared with him that my fantasy would be that Cindy would stand up to anyone who would tease her, look them squarely in the eye and say, "I said biteamins, bitch." He...

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No More Menstruation Jokes. Period.

Have you ever received an urgent text from your child like this one?       My Cindy tried to call me while I was out of town attending a writing conference; I sent her call to voicemail and replied by text. The event was underway, and I had just settled in for the first breakout session. That was her text to me. Part of me thought she was calling me to tattle on her sister. I figured it was NBD. However, when I...

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A Reader Submitted Question

previously published on my old Blogspot in 1/22/2011 (edited here)   Dear MamaSutra, I was a late bloomer with women, so I've always concentrated on pleasing them so they don't know I have no idea what I'm doing half the time. White chicks, god you guys are so easy to please... or so I think. The Asian and more conservative cultures, as liberal as the girls I've met may seem, they are still programmed to have some sort of shame or reservation....

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March Menses Madness

Has this ever happened to you? You are doing your work thing, and the same topic keeps coming up over and over again? For a sexologist, the dilemmas often are about sex practices, but the month of March has been about menstruation. This focus on periods points out to me how important it is that we teach proper sex education. It seems too many people are confused about biology. Trying not to be boring or too comprehensive, allow me to...

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