Let’s talk about Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month

February is the official month for National Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month. It's a relevant time to talk with our offspring about what constitutes healthy and unhealthy relationships and remind ourselves that we can do this year-round. Raise your hand if you sometimes get hung up on "what do I tell my kids about sex."  Keep your hand up if you would rather ignore the topic until your babies go off to college. Before I had kids of my...

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Yes, Your Kids Want To Learn About Sex From You (Not The Internet)

Originally published "Yes, Your Kids Want Sex Education From You | Yourtango." YourTango.com. Web. 06 Feb. 2018  What real-life teenagers wish their parents had told them. A: Where did you get your info about sex? B: What sources did you wish you had? These were two questions I asked college-aged students enrolled in my two basic Human Sexuality courses. It’s early in the semester, and I conducted this as a brainstorming activity. Students called out their answers, and I wrote them on the board. They were...

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Tips for a Standing Up 69 (aka Upside Down 69)

Q: The standing up 69 is said to be the most nerve-wracking sex position. Do you have any tips or tricks that might help us get comfortable performing a 69 standing up? A:  Nerve-wracking is right.  Just because an standing up/upside-down 69 could be done in theory doesn’t mean it needs to be.  I’m not sure how the partner in the upside-down position could derive much pleasure from this when the blood is literally moving away from that region toward their skull!...

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Self-Love: My Top New Year’s Resolution for 2018

2018 is at the doorstep It is finally the end of 2017, a bit of a tough year for lots of people. I like to take some time at the end of the year to reflect, stop, and do some assessment. I ask myself questions like: how do I feel about my life? My relationships? How did I do working toward my goals of last year? Did I derail anywhere - if so, when and how? I try to...

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Ready to Kick Butt: Using Martial Arts for Self Defense in a #metoo World

Here’s a #metoo story from me that I've never disclosed publicly: Two men tried to lure a friend and me into a Ford Pinto when I was in 2nd grade as we were walking home from school. I remember the scraggly, ugly Leif Garrett lookalike and his dirty bell bottom pants as he opened the passenger side door and stepped one leg out of the car. We ran home. After that, my dad immediately signed me up for Tae...

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Having Your Cake and Eating it Too: Using Communication to Get What You Both Want

Having Your Cake and Eating it Too: Using Communication to Get What You Both Want Gender stereotypes lead to a lot of preconceived notions about sex and relationships and how people think and feel. It's important to unpack these stereotypes, even while recognizing there are often differences between men and women in heterosexual relationships. Here are some generalizations I hear quite often: Men prefer sex with the lights on, while women prefer sex with the lights off. Men prefer morning sex,...

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Do’s & Don’ts Of Consent For Kids: Part 4

(Continuing from Parts one, two, and three) In summary of the points in the previous parts, I have some suggestions for how to proceed. Check it out. DO Think about what comes up for you when consider this topic. Will YOU be embarrassed? Do YOU think it’s rude? Why? Were YOU forced to do this when you were little? How you feel is likely different than how your child feels because you are different people with different experiences. Recognize this isn’t...

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Even Santa Needs to Get Consent: Part 3

(Continued from Part 2) I get it. This is “new.” No one raised these issues when we were kids. But, just because it wasn't brought up as a problem back then, does that mean it wasn't a problem? I will take a controversial stance and say one should never force their child to sit on Santa’s lap neither. Why? Think about the lessons we give to our kids about "Stranger Danger"? How is it suddenly okay to talk to and sit...

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