The Sexual Education Gospel According to Me

I spend a lot of time thinking, talking, and working with people about sex and sexuality. There are other people who do this work as well and the internet has many different voices. Lately, I feel a need to share more about my approach or philosophy so people can decide for themselves - Why should you listen to me? I've written my Sexual Education Manifesto. So, why should you listen to me? Because I started out like a lot of you. I only got...

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Realizing Worth as a Teen: Living, Learning, and Leaving

When you were young, did you have a defining moment that helped you realize your worth? What about a moment where you realized you didn't have to tolerate someone treating you poorly? If not when you were young, how old were you? I've meant to write about a situation that happened to my daughter in middle school that has shaped how she sees her value. It's a situation that probably happens daily to kids and having a support system seems to...

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A Proper Response When Someone Asks You To Dance In Middle School

How many parents talk to their kids about how to ask someone to dance? What about a discussion about how to reply when they do get asked? Parents are not given an instruction manual when a baby is born, and that sucks sometimes. Once a kid reaches puberty, I think this topic needs discussion. Spring is here where we live, and the middle school spring dances happened. I helped to chaperone the 7th-grade dance, and I felt like an anthropologist watching a...

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Teens Developing Communication Skills and The Slut Protocols

Some really valuable tools exist to help adults develop excellent, clear communication skills to express their needs and to set clear boundaries to protect themselves. But when you're still dealing with teenagers, these tools can be slightly modified. I put training wheels on The Slut Protocols for my daughter. My oldest daughter is 14 years old, and she's been hanging out with her core group of friends, as teens are known to do. These are friends who have been mostly hanging out together since 7th...

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When Kids Find Sex Toys at Home

Parents, did your kids find sex toys at home and you wish they wouldn't have? Mine have. The situation was almost as funny as this:   If you don’t feel like going to IKEA for storage solutions, you can check out the following items to store your toys (I do not get any kickbacks for sending you to these links): The Joyboxx, which looks like a toolbox https://joyboxx.com The Mini Moi Case or The Moi Box Deluxe. These look like a toiletry kit and a...

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Best Timing, Wurst Joke

Last weekend at brunch, the four of us were out to our favorite little coffee shop. We are regulars at this spot such that they know and confirm our orders as we sit down. While we waited for a table this time though, there was a cute older couple nibbling on a side order of sausage links. My mouth watered. Having lived in Germany for some years, my daughters and I have a taste for Nürnberger rostbratwürstchen (similar in looks to...

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I’m Going Rogue This Valentine’s Day. Here’s What I’m Doing Instead.

How many of you look forward to Valentine’s Day? How many of you think it totally sucks? Valentine's Day is hard for a lot of unpartnered people - that is single, divorced, widowed, for example. This day is typically focused on couples. You've got "2 for 1 specials", romance, and lame "sexy movie" releases to build excitement (*AHEM, I'm looking at you Fifty Shades Darker), and it doesn't actually work for people who are unpartnered. Sometimes, this holiday leads people to feel a...

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What To Do If Your Child Has Been Exposed To Porn

Q: Is there a video or other resource available to give age-appropriate information to children who have been prematurely exposed to it and why it is not a good thing to view porn? There is. I have written a book about that same subject and it is in the process of finding a publisher. I also have an online webinar that I am preparing. Meanwhile, I will share with you the main three points I advise parents to keep in...

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Usually, a Massage is just a Massage

As a person who writes about sex and sexuality, the topic is on my mind a lot. I look at ordinary day to day events, and my mind processes them by examining how it relates to what we learn about sex, what messages we get, etc. And so much of what I encounter has shades of sexuality with it. Recently, I had an hour-long massage appointment... well, half of an appointment. I had just finished meditating at home when the...

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Taking The “STI” Out Of Stigma

I have a syphilis stuffed toy. I got it from a sexuality conference I went to a couple of years ago. It's from giantmicrobes.com, and it's adorable. Recently, my 13-year-old daughter started a sexuality education unit in her 8th-grade science class. On the day when they covered sexually transmitted infections (STI's), she asked me if she could take it to class; I consented. The science teacher loved it and wanted to keep it there (note: next gift idea for the...

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